I lifted it from the pillow and looked around the room. Where the hell am I? This was definitely not my room at Sierra Wellness Center, and why the heck are my eyes burning so much? I must’ve left my contacts in last night. I blinked a few times, attempting to get rid of the dryness. It helped, but when my vision came into focus, I found myself staring into the eyes of…a giant moose.
“Holy shit!” I jumped from the bed and landed on my ass on the hard floor.
Clunk-clunk. Click.
Clunk-clunk. Click.
My grandfather had loved old westerns, so I knew the unmistakable sound of a shotgun being pumped and cocked. I squeezed my eyes shut and raised my hands into the air. I might’ve also peed my pants a little. “Don’t shoot! Please don’t shoot!”
“What the hell, Red?” a deep, throaty voice growled. “I’m not going to fucking shoot you.”
I peeked one eye open and found a bearded man standing on the other side of the bed wearing a pair of boxer shorts and holding a gun. He looked vaguely familiar.
“Well, then stop pointing that thing at me!”
“Sorry.” He lowered it. “What the hell did you scream like that for?”
I blinked a few times. “Who the hell are you?”
“Jesus Christ,” the guy mumbled. “You don’t remember last night?”
My eyes bulged. Last night? Oh my God. Did I sleep with this lumberjack? I looked down and was relieved to find I still had all my clothes on, boots and all.
The guy shook his head. “You’d remember it, sweetheart. Trust me.”
“What?”
“You just checked to see what you were wearing, so I’m guessing you were questioning whether we had sex. We didn’t. And if we had, you’d remember it.”
“Why is that?”
The corner of his lip twitched. “How’s your noggin?”
The pain I’d felt when I first opened my eyes came roaring back with a vengeance. I reached for my head. “Who are you, and what the heck did I drink last night?”
Lumberjack bent and lifted the mattress, casually tucking the rifle between it and the boxspring.
“Is that where that gets filed?” I asked.
His lip twitched again. “It is. And an extra dry martini, shaken not stirred, with a lemon twist, dash of orange bitters, and two bleu cheese olives.”
I felt my nose wrinkle. “What?”
“You asked what you drank last night. That’s what your prissy order was. Though that’s not actually what you drank.”
“A dry martini is not prissy.”
“In this town it is, especially the way you order it.”
“What did I drink if my order was too prissy for you?”
“Vodka.”
“With?”
“Ice.”
“No wonder my head is killing me. Why would you give me that?”
Lumberjack’s eyebrows shot up. “Because you asked for it when I told you I didn’t have orange bitters, bleu cheese olives, or lemons, and I was all out of vermouth.”
“You told me you didn’t have it? So you’re who…the bartender?”
He frowned. “Yeah. I’m the bartender. Is that below your standards or something? I also own the place.”
“I didn’t mean it like that… I just…” I shook my head and looked around the room. For the first time, I realized the moose wasn’t alone. He had friends—a deer with big antlers, a bear, and some other thing I thought might be an elk. “Did you kill all these animals?”
Lumberjack folded his arms across his broad chest. “Is that a problem?”
“I’m guessing for them it was.”
He walked around the bed and held a hand out to me—I was still sitting on the floor. I hesitated, and he shook his head. “It’s my hand, sweetheart. Not my dick.”
My nose scrunched up. “Crass much?”
“Rather be crass than condescending.”
I put my hand in his. “I am not condescending.”
“No?”
“No.”
He helped me to my feet. “If you say so.”
I brushed my clothes off. “Do you have a bathroom I can use?”
Lumberjack pointed. “Maybe while you’re in there, you can pry the stick out of your ass.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re rude.”
He sighed. “Just go do what you gotta do, Red.”
“Red. That’s original.” I attempted to lift my chin into the air and keep a bit of my dignity as I walked to the bathroom. But the screech I let out when I shut the door was anything but dignified. “Umm…Lumberjack?” I was afraid to move.
Footsteps came closer on the other side of the door. “Is that supposed to be me?”
“Did you know there’s a giant dog in your bathtub?”
“I did indeed.”
The Saint Bernard tilted his head at me, curiously. “You could’ve warned me.”
There was silence for a few seconds, then, “Hey, Red?”
“Yeah?”
“Oak sleeps in the bathtub.”
“Is Oak the dog?”
“Yep.”
“Does he bite?”
“He sleeps in the bathtub because he’s afraid of his own shadow. I think you’re safe.”
“Great,” I mumbled.
I had one of those bladders that got overly excited once it saw a toilet, so I didn’t have time for any more small talk. I walked to the porcelain throne and peed while the giant dog stared. Fitting. I had a moose and deer watch me sleep.
Oh, and it turned out I actually had peed my pants a little. This morning just kept getting better and better. I slipped my thong off, flushed, and went to the sink to wash my hands. Looking up, I caught my reflection in the mirror. Oh God. I didn’t look much better than the poor mounted heads. My auburn hair was plastered to one side of my face with what might be drool, puffy green eyes were streaked with red lines from not taking out my daily wears, and dark raccoon circles rimmed underneath. I washed up and did my best to fix my hair and face, but there wasn’t much that could make this hangover look any better than it felt.
At least when I opened the bathroom door, the smell of fresh coffee wafted through the air. I found Lumberjack in the kitchen—which technically was also the bedroom and living room in his studio apartment. His back was to me, so I took a moment to appreciate the view. Broad shoulders, narrow waist, and what looked like a pretty muscular ass under those boxer briefs. He was tall—super tall, actually, maybe a foot bigger than my five foot four. Definitely not my normal type. I tended to go for a runner’s body—lean and trim, whereas this guy could best be described as burly.
Without turning around, he pointed to the counter next to him. “Coffee’s there. And I figured you could use some Motrin.”
“God, yes. Thank you.” I walked over and lifted the steaming mug. “You wouldn’t happen to have any creamer, would you?”
“Definitely not.”
“Milk?”
“Nope.”
“So I guess dairy-free cashew creamer blended with oat milk is out of the question?”
He looked over at me, frowned, and went back to what he was doing without saying a word.
I brought the mug to my lips. “Okay then…”
Lumberjack poured a second coffee in silence while I swallowed two Motrin with scalding black coffee. When he was done, he leaned a hip against the counter and looked at me.
“How many vodkas did I drink last night?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Three maybe?”
“The bar had dark paneling, right?”
“Yep.”
I attempted to fit together the bits and pieces of things I could remember. “And a jukebox? I remember putting on Taylor Swift. But then it broke, I think?”
Lumberjack smirked. “I have a secret kill switch behind the bar that cuts the power. Usually have to use it at two AM when drunk fifty-year-olds put on Billy Joel and sing along. I cut you off the third time you played ‘Shake It Off’.”
“Not a Swiftie?”
“Don’t mind her. But I didn’t like the way some of my patrons were looking at you while you were dancing.”
“How exactly were they looking at me?”
He tipped back his mug and drank. “You probably shouldn’t go out by yourself and get hammered.”
“Why? Because I’m a woman?”
“Because you’re a fucking lightweight. And the wrong person could’ve taken you home.”
I sighed. He had a point. I didn’t know this guy from Adam, but I didn’t feel unsafe here with him. “You’re right. Thank you for taking care of me.”
He nodded once.
“It’s just been a really bad week.” I shook my head. “A really bad few months, actually.”
“Is that why you’re at that bougie mental hospital?”
I frowned. “Sierra Wellness Center is not a mental hospital. It’s a voluntary wellness facility.”
“Whatever.” He shrugged. “Are you famous or something?”
“Why would you ask me that?”
“Because a lot of celebrities have come through town to spend time there since it was built three years ago.”
“Oh.” I shook my head. “I’m not famous. My handbags are maybe, but not me.”
“Handbags?”
“I own Amourette, the purse company.”
“Never heard of it.”
“I don’t think they would style well with your moose head and shotgun.”
“Guess that stick was too far up there to pry it out in the bathroom, huh?”
“I was trying to be funny.”
“You’re about as good at that as you are drinking.”
I smiled. “What’s your name? Or should I just continue to call you Lumberjack, like I have been in my head since I woke up at gunpoint?”
“Name’s Brock.”
“Huh…”
“Huh what?”
I shrugged. “It fits you.”
“And what’s yours?”
“February.”
His brows jumped. “Like the month?”
“Exactly like the month.”
“Who names their kid February?”
I sighed. “We don’t have time for the story of my mother.” But speaking of time… I looked around for a clock. “What time is it anyway?”
“Eleven.”
My eyes widened. “In the morning?”
“Well, you didn’t knock out until four, so it’s not like you slept that long.”
“God, I’m screwed. My ladder is definitely going to be gone by now.”
“Your ladder?”
“That’s how I snuck out. My room is on the second floor. I paid one of the maintenance guys to leave a ladder at my window, but he said he’d have to get rid of it before the sun came up.”
“Why do you have to sneak out? I thought you said the place was voluntary?”
“It is. But if you leave, they discharge you from the program. And if I get kicked out, I’m screwed.”
“How are you screwed?”
“It’s a long story. But I have a board of directors at my company, and there’s this dumb morality clause in my contract and… Let’s just say this is my punishment for doing something stupid.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. But it sounds like you’re in deep shit.”
I laughed. Maybe I needed the mental health timeout more than I wanted to admit. “How far away from Sierra are we?”
“About a mile.”
“Oh good.” I gulped back the rest of my coffee. “I should get going.”
“I’ll give you a ride.”
“It’s okay. I can walk if you just point me in the right direction.”
He looked down at the boots I’d slept in—the cute, knee-high leather ones with chunky four-inch heels. “I’ll drive you.”
Okay then.
Brock’s apartment was on the second floor. When we got down to street level and stepped outside, I realized where we were. “You live above the bar?”
“Yep.”
“Well, that’s convenient to get to work.”
There were two pickup trucks parked in the driveway on the side of the brick building. Both had decals that read Hawkins Log Cabins. Brock opened the passenger door on the bigger of the two trucks and offered a hand to help me get in.
“Thank you.”
The temperature had really dropped overnight, and I only had on a flimsy silk dress. Brock got in, started the truck, and noticed me shivering. He peeled off his flannel and held it out to me. “Truck’s diesel. Takes a minute for the heat to warm when it first starts.”
I waved him off. “It’s okay.”
“Lean forward.”
Not sure why, but I followed his instruction. Brock wrapped his flannel around my shoulders. It was warm from his body heat and felt good, so I slipped my arms into it. “Thank you.”
“Yep.”
“Do you work for a company that builds log cabins during the day?”
He shifted the truck into reverse and backed out of the driveway. “Own it.”
“I thought you said you owned the bar?”
“I do. Also own the grocery store in town and the laundromat.”
“That’s a weird combination of businesses.”
He shrugged. “Economy went to shit a few years back, so the logging mill in town closed down. No work meant no cash to spend in the grocery store or laundromat, so those closed down, too. I had a little bit of money I didn’t need from an inheritance, so I bought what I could to help people get back to work.”
“That was very noble.”
“It’s a small town. Everyone helps each other.”
“That does not happen in Manhattan.”
“And that’s one of the many reasons I’ve never been there.”
“You’ve never been to the City? But you live in Maine, and it’s only a ten-hour drive or a two-hour flight.”
He shrugged. A few minutes later, we pulled up to the entrance of Sierra Wellness Center. There were some people milling around out front, so I ducked.
“Do you think you can drive around to the back of the building? That’s where my room is. Maybe people will see this truck and just assume you’re doing some work here.”
Brock waved as he drove up the long driveway.
“Who are you saying hello to?” I asked.
“Fuck if I know. Not even quite sure how the hell I got roped into keeping you at my apartment.”
“Roped in?” I felt offended. “I’m sorry if I was such a hassle.”
He looked over at me. “You were.”
“How was I a hassle?”
“You play shitty music, wouldn’t tell me where you lived to take you home, and I had to carry you up the stairs where you proceeded to snore the entire night.”
I did snore. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.” The truck made a turn, and Brock slowed to a stop. “The coast is clear from the coppers. You can get up from down there now.”
“Thank you.”
Of course the ladder I’d used to climb out last night was no longer there. I looked around for something—anything—nearby to use to climb in. But it was just us and a shitload of trees fifty feet away. I nibbled on my fingernail. “Do you think you can pull up to that third window? Maybe I can reach it if I stand in the bed of the truck.”
“That’s not going to work.”
“Well, do you have a better solution?”
He mumbled something under his breath that I didn’t catch, but pulled the truck next to the third window. We both got out and looked up.
“Shoot,” I said. “It’s too high. This isn’t going to work.”
“I seem to have heard that somewhere before.”
I put my hands on my hips. “You don’t have to be so cocky about it.”
Brock shook his head and walked around to the back of his truck. He lowered the rear gate and climbed up, then extended one hand and pointed to the bumper with the other. “Put your foot on there, and I’ll pull you up.”
“But I’m still not going to be able to reach the window.”
“Just do it.”
My foot had barely touched the bumper when Brock hoisted me into the bed. He walked over near my window and kneeled down on one knee. “Get on my shoulders. I’ll lift you.”
“Are you sure? I’m not as light as I look.”
“I lift logs bigger than you all day long.”
“Okay…”
Brock held out a hand, and I climbed up to sit on his shoulders, trying to be as ladylike as I could while wearing a dress. But once I was on, he didn’t move. “Am I too heavy?”
“Nope.”
“Are you afraid you’re going to fall?”
“Nope.”
“So why aren’t you moving?”
He cleared his throat. “Are you…not wearing underwear?”
Oh.
My.
God.
I wanted to die. I’d completely forgotten that I had taken off my pee-peed underwear earlier in the bathroom. Here I was, legs over this man’s shoulders with my vagina pressed against the back of his neck. I started to swing my leg off to get down, but he gripped my ankle.
“We made it this far. Might as well finish.”
I covered my face. “I seriously want to die right now.”
Before I could say anything else, Brock climbed to his feet. I wobbled but stayed on. “Go ahead,” he said. “Stand on my shoulders, and you should be able to reach.”
“Do you promise not to look up?”
“I managed to not turn around and bury my face between your legs, so I think we’re in the clear.”
Oh my. That gave me a visual. Me facing the other way, my legs dangling down big, burly lumberjack Brock’s back, while he buried his face in me…
“Anytime now,” Brock grumbled.
“Oh—right.”
Luckily, my window was still open, and when I stood on his shoulders, it was easy enough to climb in. After, I stuck my head back outside. “Thank you for…everything.”
He chuckled. “Take care, Red.”
I stayed at the window and watched Brock the burly lumberjack get back into his truck. As it pulled away, I felt oddly sad. Though people here had to be looking for me by now, so I grabbed a change of clothes from the drawer and ran into the bathroom to get dressed, only to realize I was still wearing Brock’s flannel. It wasn’t even off when someone knocked at my room door. Shit. “I’ll be out in a minute!”
I finished changing as fast as I could, then scooped all the clothes from the bathroom floor and opened the cabinet under the sink. As I tossed everything inside, something dropped to the floor. A little book. My dress didn’t have pockets, so it must’ve come from Brock’s flannel. I reached for it and thumbed to the first page.
“Oh…this is interesting.”
